he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
