nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
