Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Someone signed my nipple.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
