Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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