They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
