I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
