Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
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Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
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Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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