I would go down on you faster than GM stock
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
