this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
