You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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