I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
