The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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