FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think my moral compass just broke
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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