she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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