I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
