i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
