Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
