my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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