I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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