Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
