Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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