also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I enjoy the company of your penis
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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