There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
