I hate your face
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
