i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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