He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
