id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
