Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
