Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
