I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I still have a little drunk in my system
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
