So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
