Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
