so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
