She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
