I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
