So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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