He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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