I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
as a side note pls kill me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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