dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
