omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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