yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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