20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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