I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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