So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
