I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
