WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
