Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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