I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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