Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
one might say we're banned from that church
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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