how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
