Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
