The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
