I faked an abortion last night.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
