**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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