Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
