I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
