I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
