I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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