Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
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Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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