oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
