apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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