Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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