Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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