i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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