If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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