i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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