Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
