Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
