i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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