What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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