i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
