We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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