did you get engaged???
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
