and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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