i just google imaged poop.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
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I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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