will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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